I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
