I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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