he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize