lets start a swedish sibling band together
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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