You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
