whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
