So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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