the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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