i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
