mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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