Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
