Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
