he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You can't just leave with hair like that
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
