drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
