just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
