So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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