I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
