I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
