Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
