he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
