"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I looked at my own cervix.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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