do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
