what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
