Buhtt sex?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
