i think my tv is drunk
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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