I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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