just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So here I am, sexting at work.
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