Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
two words...techno handjob
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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