Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I need a burrito and a hug.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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