Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize