i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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