Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
