On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
