Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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