The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
