i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
