i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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