best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
