1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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