We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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