I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
