Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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