so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize