Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
