My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
