if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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