I feel like abortions should bother me more
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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