what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Walk of Shame today included voting.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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