I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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