Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
