Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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