I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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