What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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