I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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