Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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