That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
