Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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