I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
4 words: hood of his car
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
