I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
