I wannas sexs uuuuu
my vag is so smooth its legendary
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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