Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
