everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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