Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
