Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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