I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
