Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
