When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
