I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
