piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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