Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
