He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
