Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
