Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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